Thursday, October 4, 2018

The Wait: How to Avoid A 'Crushing' Blow

Yesterday was #NationalBoyfriendDay, but since I didn't get a chance to post, I figured I'd celebrate today instead. I couldn't ask for a better guy. He pursues me intentionally, and he makes me feel like I'm the most valuable, most beautiful woman in the world. This man is my biggest supporter. He prays with me and for me, encouraging me to go after the vision that God has given me. I do the same for him. We've been together for a while now, but we wanted to make sure this thing was real before we made it official. I'm so honored to be pursuing purpose with him. Here he is...

Image source: Getty

Sanctified, fine, and INVISIBLE. 😂 Had you going for a minute there, didn't I? I jokingly post the picture above every year to commemorate this Instagram-made "holiday." That introduction was just practice, but if I was seeing someone, I wouldn't post it. Privacy is priority in relationships. 😉

Anyway, while I'm waiting, I want to talk about something that makes the weight of the wait a lot heavier than it has to be: unrequited love. If I've learned anything during the wait, the most important lesson has been that it's not always patient. Sometimes it's frustrating, especially if you have a crush. When I say "crush" in the adult sense, I'm not talking about the puppy love grade school stuff. I mean, obviously there should be an element of innocence there if you're both abstaining, but in this context, a "crush" is someone you're interested in who you see potential with, but currently, they're just a friend. Those italics are intentional.

Image source: Emoji Request

Over time, I've learned that even in the adult waiting game, it is possible to still be crushed by a crush...because at this point, waiting isn't a game anymore. In adulthood, the "game" is played for keeps, and I would hate for you to end up like the emoji above. Sis, let me let you in on a little secret. Brothers, y'all lean in too, even though you already know the truth of what I'm about to say. Listen carefully: Ladies, a man's business is not your business until he makes it your business.

Trust me, when you like someone, social media is not your friend. We as women are emotional creatures, and let's be honest: If your potential guy (who loves Jesus, is fine AND single) suddenly posts a picture with a girl, the first place your mind is going to go is girlfriend. Don't jump to conclusions, though. Whether he's seeing the girl in the picture or not, making assumptions could set you up to get played. Here's the thing: You can't get mad about what you think you see when you're not even in the picture. If you're not an important factor in that man's life, you can't control who he may or may not be entertaining, because frankly, it's none of your business. There's no need to trip, because you can rest in this: What's for you will PURSUE YOU! Even if the friendship is in italics, it's the man's job to show you how he feels. After all, you're the catch. He should count it a blessing to have you! It's simple: If a man wants you in his world, he'll let you in. Until then, don't try to RSVP to a party you weren't invited to. Just play your position until he makes his intentions clear. Your heart will thank you later.

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