Thursday, October 18, 2018

Relationships: Taking A Hands-Off Approach

Last week on his Instagram, gospel artist Will McMillan (get his album My Story here) posed a seemingly simple question to his followers. “If you’re single, what’s the reason? Honest answers only.” Answers ranged from silly to serious, but they got me thinking. My first response was, “I’m single because I know what’s for me will pursue me in God’s timing.” I thought about it a little longer, and then I expounded on my answer, adding, “I’m single because I believe in love in a generation that is fueled by sex. I’m single because I can’t afford to settle. I know that the person I choose will impact my purpose. My alignment will affect my assignment. I’m single because I’m waiting on God...but maybe He’s waiting on me. I’m not sure yet.” Those were my honest answers, or so I thought...until McMillan answered his own question. 

A few days after his original post, McMillan took to his Instagram stories to share the reason why he’s single. In reference to his past relationships, one of which was a failed engagement, he said something that really convicted me: “Anything in our hands is bound to fail.”

Source: GfyCat

Let me explain. I’ve always been very vocal about the fact that I’ve never been in a relationship, about how I’m waiting for the right one. When I answered that simple question the other day, I answered it truthfully...but those were the fluffy truths. If the FULL truth be told, a huge reason why I’m single is because I put potential relationships in my own hands and God allowed them to fail...before they even started. I got so caught up in the idea of relationships with certain people that I tried to make them happen in my own timing. Even if the relationship might’ve been a good thing, God didn’t let it last long enough for me to find out. He blocked me every time I attempted to force a premature thing because while I was telling Him I’d take it slow, my heart was saying, “I want it NOW.” I was so busy jumping through hoops to be seen, heard, and understood that I didn’t stop to hear Him saying, "Don't touch!" Honestly, my desire to be in a relationship was beginning to take His place. 

McMillan quoted my favorite scripture, Matthew 6:33, in his discussion, “Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things will be added unto you.” Suddenly, I got it: God stopped those potential relationships in their tracks because He knew I wasn’t ready. He knew that before He sent me “the one,” I needed to realize that He is number one. I needed to know that a spouse is an addition. When they come into the picture, they should be adding onto a life that is already great because God is in it. I’m so grateful for every “no”...even the ones that didn’t—and still don’t—make sense.

This word is for me, but I hope it helps you, too: When your relationship with God is where it’s supposed to be, He’ll decide when to add the right person into the equation...and you won’t have to add anything to who you are to prove that you’re enough for them. You’ll just BE, and God will put it together—in His timing, not yours. If God’s hand is in it, you won’t have to put your hands on it. All you have to do is trust that He knows what He’s doing.


  1. Just pure classic stuff from you here. I have never seen such a brilliantly written article in a long time. I am thankful to you that you produced this! how to make him miss you and commit

  2. When your website or blog goes live for the first time, it is exciting. That is until you realize no one but you and your. Relationships

  3. The incorrect path is to utilize an equilibrium scale approach, endeavoring to gauge the upsides and downsides of staying versus leaving. Obviously, that is the thing that everybody does. signs that he loves you deeply