Wednesday, December 6, 2017

The Wait: Suited or Booted? To Help and Be Helped

Source: Instagram - godlydating101

The first time I saw the picture above, I literally laughed out loud. It was funny at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how disturbingly profound it was. It's an example of why marriage is one of the most important decisions we will ever make. It's also an example of why fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. Single men, what kind of table are you preparing for your future wives? Single ladies, what are you bringing to that table? Let's ruffle some feathers.

Genesis 2:18 reads, "The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him'" (NIV).

In the King James version of the same verse, God says He will make a "help meet" for Adam. Ladies, if we desire marriage, then as wives-in-training, we need to learn how to be help meets so that when we meet "the one," we'll know how to adequately assist him--but first, he has to meet a standard and need help in his purpose. This means that he needs to discover his purpose before he is given someone to help him with it.

In our season of singleness as women, God prepares us to help our husbands by instilling in us how to help others in our everyday lives. Helping others helps us to discover our purpose, which is VERY important because in marriage, two people--and two purposes--become one. So, when I meet a potential spouse, I will automatically evaluate him to see if his purpose lines up with mine. If he's not sure of his purpose, then I can't be suitable for him, which means he needs to be booted out of my life. My husband has to have a purpose for me to work with in order for the marriage to work.

"The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it." - Genesis 2:15 (NIV) 

When I was younger, I paid attention to the things a man would want to accomplish in the now, thinking that would give me some insight into who he was as a person. As I've matured, I've realized that long-term goals are more important. Are his dreams and goals tangible? Are they God-ordained, or for personal gain? Where does he see God taking him, and most importantly, is he making realistic steps towards that? I see it like this: Before God presented Eve to Adam, He had already assigned him to the garden of Eden. According to Webster's dictionary, the word eden means "paradise," and in other sources, it is linked to words meaning "fruitful and well-watered." Ladies, when you meet a man, your focus shouldn't be on how much money he makes or the car he drives. Instead, look at the condition of his "Eden."

From now on, I don't want a man to just tell me what kind of plant he has planted. I want him to show me that he's watering that plant. If he's adequately watering it, then I can be the sunlight that's needed to help it grow even more. In order for me to help him, though, I need to see a crop that's already being cultivated so I know what and how much to add to it. I'm not saying the man I marry has to dot every "I" and cross every "T". I don't expect him to have it all together, because I'm still getting it together myself, but I do expect his table to be sturdy enough to stand on its own, and I expect to see an extra chair. I can pull the chair out myself. 😉


  1. Once again you have delivered a well thought out and powerful message. I found it to be very insightful and timely information for allowing of us that are single.
    I highly recommend that all young ladies take a few minutes to read this. I promise that you won't be disappointed. Keep up the good work Siobhan McIntyre!!! May God continue to bless you.♡♡

  2. *all of us that are single. Not allowing us that are single. (My typing skills need polishing)🙄