In last week's post, I ended by saying that after looking at the condition of a man's Eden and making sure his table was sturdy and had an extra chair, I could pull that chair out myself. I'd like to expand on that metaphor because after I posted it, I realized that statement could be read as emasculating. I didn't mean it that way at all. Yes, I am capable of pulling my own chair out, because (and I say this humbly) I know the value that I can bring to a man's table. There's a catch, though: Before I can even approach the table, I have to be invited to it.
Genesis 2:21-22 reads:
So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh.
Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. (NIV)
In the last post, I emphasized the man's Eden because Adam was already in Eden and Eve was given to him while he was asleep. She didn't have an Eden. The Eden was presented to her, and she was presented to Adam. That's why I said that as a woman, the table should already be prepared before I get there. The proverbial chair was already there too, and Eve just took her rightful place in it. In other words, ladies, it's the man's job to prepare your place at his table. It's not our job to go up to Adam and ask him if we can sit beside him. He has to see the placeholder with our name on it and invite us to sit with him.
That's the significance of Adam being asleep: God had to open his eyes so that he could see what was right in front of him. Even after Adam saw Eve, it was still up to him to take the initiative to invite her into his Eden. I think that's where we as women mess up. We shouldn't just settle for anything that looks good. Even if it looks like Eden, it might not be your specific Eden. What if every time it doesn't work out, it's not because of anything we did or anything that the guy did, it's just that we're in the wrong Eden? No two relationships are the same, so what would work "perfectly" (and I use that term loosely) for one couple may not work for another couple. Every Eden is different. Ladies, have you ever considered that maybe the reason all your previous relationships failed was because you were trying to be Eve to someone else's Adam? Fellas, every woman you see is not your Eve. Keep your eyes open, but be selective.
A word to the wise: Sisters, you are the Eve to a tailor-made Adam. Know your worth. Don't just run up to every table that looks good and try to sit in the first empty chair you see. Seek God and ask Him to make room for you at a table where you will be valued, respected, and loved. Brothers, prepare your tables accordingly, but know that every woman is not fit to sit beside you. Be intentional in the cultivation of your Eden, and trust God to send you the Eve you need. Together, your garden will flourish and your fruit will be ripe.