'Thank You for Being A Friend': Why You Shouldn't Sugarcoat Your Story

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I only want what and who God wants for me, and I REFUSE to settle. That applies to romantic and platonic relationships. He is getting ready to send me people who are equipped to encourage me. He will direct me to those who know how to cover what I'm carrying. They won't be intimidated by or jealous of my gifts. I won't have to question their motives because they'll genuinely want to see me win! I already see it in the spirit. By this time next year...watch Him work. #SpeakingIt #WaitingForMyWinnersCircle #GodSendMeMyTribe! 🙌🏾

This was a Facebook status I posted months ago, but I was led back to it this past weekend. The month of August was a month of major changes for me: relocation to a new city and state and the start of a new chapter—graduate school. I’ve opened up a lot on this blog about how I desire covenant friendships. In this season of newness, I am actively seeking them. All my introverts out there know that the struggle is real 😂, but I’m being obedient to the voice of God. I heard Him say this clearly: “In order for Me to send you the friendships you desire, you need to BE the friend you desire." That hit me hard because it means I have to apply my prerequisites to myself. I have to be a friend who is supportive, who encourages and edifies, who covers and helps carry, whose motives and intentions are pure and good. I've started working on that, and I discovered something: Being THAT friend is a never-ending learning process. It's giving what you take and taking what you give...and if done right, it pleases Him. That's the ultimate goal.

I really want to do better about connecting to people. In order to be the type of friend I want to have, I have to make myself available. And I have to give people the real me...the first time. I’m learning a very important lesson here in uncharted territory: If you give people the sugarcoated version of yourself the first time you meet them, you'll end up having to jump through hoops to keep up "appearances." Quite frankly, ain’t nobody got time for that! For the longest time, I thought I had to walk, talk, and act a certain way for people to accept me. Now, my mindset has shifted. I’ve realized that people won’t know what kind of friend they need to be to you if you don’t tell them who you are. If I give people the unadulterated version of my story, I won’t have to wonder if they can handle having a friend like me. Their actions will speak for themselves and I’ll find out who’s really supposed to be in my life for the long haul. From now on, what you see is what you get. If you choose to rock with me, thank you for being a friend. *cue Golden Girls theme song*