Wednesday, June 6, 2018

The Wait: Practicing Contentment

Birthdays have a funny way of triggering self-reflection. My 24th is tomorrow (June 7th), so I guess now is as good a time as any to update you all on my relationship status: I'm still single...but practicing contentment. In last year's birthday post, I spoke openly about my virginity and my decision to remain pure until marriage. I've always wanted to get married, but I didn't mind waiting...until 23 stirred up something in me. Suddenly, almost overnight, singleness wasn't comfortable anymore. In the last 363 days, I've learned a lot about being "okay" with waiting. My biggest lesson was differentiating between learning the art of contentment and practicing it.

At the beginning of this year when singleness was weighing heavily on me, I was scrolling through my recommendations on YouTube and I came across "Don't Mind Waiting" from William McDowell's 2016 release, Sounds of Revival. Since I'd never heard the song before (I know, I'm late lol), I didn't know what to expect...and I certainly didn't expect it to affect me the way it did. "Don't Mind Waiting" is a declaration that the worshipper will wait on God, no matter how long it takes. Instead of becoming impatient, the closer God comes to fulfilling His promise, the louder their worship will get. While they wait, desperation will increase, but they won't be desperate for the thing they're waiting for. They'll be desperate for God. Check out the video below:

I found this song exactly when I needed it. It really comes in handy on the days that I DO mind waiting.

The problem wasn't that I didn't know how to wait, I've been doing that all my life...literally. The problem was, I started dwelling so much on the "when" that I began losing sight of the "why." The only "why" I cared about was why I was still single when it seemed like everybody else was "Boo'd Up" (shout out to Ella Mai). Then I remembered that the promise is so much bigger than a "boo."

This year, singleness is my birthday present. Literally, it defines my present relationship status, but it's also a tremendous gift. In singleness, I am, of course, living for God, but I also have the freedom to live for myself. I can take as much time as I want to do what I want. I don't have to account for anyone else's needs. Marriage, on the other hand, won't allow me to be so selfish. I'll still be submitted to God, but I'll also have to submit to my husband. When he finds me, singular will become plural and two will become one. Our individual relationships with God will branch into collaborative service, a collaborative prayer life and collaborative worship. While I wait, I'm realizing that a happy marriage doesn't start in marriage. A happy marriage begins with practicing contentment in singleness--and practice makes perfect.

If I'm not careful, impatience in this season could lead to settling, and settling would be doing a disservice to my purpose. I might be tired of waiting, but there's too much on the line to mind. So Lord, for the remainder of my wait:

I need You...even on days when I don't mind waiting, and especially on days when I do. I never want my desire for anything else in this life to outweigh my desperation for You. The closer I get to You, the louder my praise will become. While I wait, I won't grow weary, impatient or doubtful. Instead, I'll focus on walking in your will, confident that You will fulfill Your promises. I won't forfeit the gift of singleness to satisfy myself, but one day, I will exchange that gift for a union ordained by You. In the meantime, thank You for blessing me with 24 years of life. Part of practicing contentment means knowing that You are responsible for writing my story. I can't wait to read the next chapter.

1 comment:

  1. Although I am your mother, I am always struck by your level of faith and commitment to God. That you ARE waiting is a testament to that commitment. I KNOW God is going to give you the desires of your heart because you keep Him first. God bless you, my love, today on your birthday and always. I really am your greatest admirer. Happy birthday!❤❤