Wednesday, February 21, 2018

#BeNotDeceived: God-sent vs. Counterfeit

"O, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." -Walter Scott

Ladies, when you think you're ready to be found by the one, it can be hard to distinguish God-sent from counterfeit. If you find yourself caught up with a counterfeit, you could end up getting caught in his lies. Sometimes, the counterfeit can look like the God-sent. That list you made of everything you want in a mate? The enemy saw it too. He'll send you a man that's "packaged" just the way you like, and make you think he's everything you prayed for and more. When you least expect it, he'll flip the script, and your dream guy will turn into a nightmare. If you're not careful, you'll confuse the faux Boaz with the real thing, and lose yourself in the process. So, how can you tell the difference? 1 John 4:1 says, "Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God..." Verse 5 reads, "They are from the world and therefore speak from the viewpoint of the world, and the world listens to them." Simply put, you will be able to separate God-sent from counterfeit because the proof is in the fruit.

If they're whispering sweet nothings (commitments, dreams, goals with no follow-through) in your ear, you'd better run while you can. Those promises may sound good, but they're empty! Don't get so wrapped up in a man's words that you forget to pay attention to his actions. The counterfeit talks about making power moves. The God-sent puts his words into action. Actions will always speak louder than words, but it's up to you to listen.

The counterfeit will do just enough to make it seem like he's not a counterfeit because his purpose is to distract you from yours. He might go to church every Sunday. That does not make him a Godly man. Does he offer to lead you in prayer? Encourage you to go to bible study with him? Is he reflecting God's light outside of the four walls of the church? The counterfeit pulls you away from God. The God-sent draws you nearer to Him. How does he act with his friends? Does he curse like a sailor, or does he recognize that he is in the world, but not OF it? Does he honor your boundaries, the "dos and don'ts" of the relationship, or does he pressure you to compromise? Does he invest wisely, both monetarily and in terms of time and effort? Are his investments producing a positive return? Does he treat you like the queen you are, or is his tone just a little condescending? Does he speak life into you, or is he draining life out of you?

These are just a few questions you should ask yourself during your dating season to make sure you're dealing with the real deal. If you're not sure about your guy, pray about it and ask God to help you hear Him clearly. He wants what's best for you because every Godly marriage enriches His Kingdom. Trust Him and obey His voice.

"Deceived" webinar flyer / Married and Young

In addition to prayer, if you really want to weed out the counterfeits, you should sign up for Married and Young's FREE webinar. "DECEIVED: The Lies Women Believe in the Pursuit for Love" is basically a women's conference where powerhouse speakers Natasha Miller, Dr. Kamilah Stevenson, Real Talk Kim, and Phineka Friend will help you walk in discernment in your single season. The best part? It's 100% FREE.

Sign up here, and watch tomorrow, February 22nd, at 9 EST/8 CST.



  1. I just signed up for the Webinar because of the blog post written by a young lady who is on fire for the Lord by the name of Siobhan McIntyre. She was very inspiring and insightful and I am looking forward to the Webinar on February 22, 2018.

  2. If I had this checklist before I started my last relationship, it would have never got started or ended earlier . This was an excellent piece and really helpful. Thank you.