The other day, I was having a “Why is everybody in a relationship except me?” moment. I was talking my way through it with my aunt (I’m convinced she must have the patience of Job to sit through my ramblings. God bless her.). Anyway, somewhere amongst all the “Woe is me!” I started talking about what I want in a relationship. Seemingly out of the blue, I said, “When my future husband proposes, I want my ‘yes’ to him to be almost as easy as the ‘yes’ I gave to God when I got saved.” My aunt quickly corrected me, “No ‘yes’ should ever be equal to the one you gave Him.” I sat in silence for a moment, and then I repeated my original statement. Saying ‘yes’ to my future husband should be almost as easy as saying yes to God because if it is, I will know that our union is God-ordained. As my purpose partner, my husband will be responsible for leading me in the Christian walk. I need my ‘yes’ to be 100 percent sure because I need to know who I’m submitting to...and who he’s submitted to. When my husband asks for my hand in marriage, there should be no “maybes” or hesitation, only yes, because I’ll know he has said yes to God. This is why I’m waiting.
|Jamie Grace - "Wait It Out" (2018) - Single / Amazon|
I told myself that whenever the wait gets me in my feelings, I’d turn up the volume on music that reminded me why it would be worth it, so I did just that. My most recent go-to is Jamie Grace’s pop/hip hop hybrid, “Wait It Out.” I’m so inspired by Jamie’s testimony. For years, she’s been very vocal about her choice to save herself for marriage and wait for God’s best. Before she met her now-husband, Aaron Collins, she penned “Wait It Out,” a song that acknowledged the single struggle, but also stressed the importance of self-worth during the wait:
Everybody got that ring by spring, yeah
Graduated M R S degree
Gonna get dressed up, gonna stand by
And I'm probably gonna, probably gonna
But I stay single, team single
And it ain't 'cause I don't wanna mingle
In the song, and in several videos on her YouTube channel, Jamie emphasized that she was single by choice, not because she didn’t want to date, but because she wanted to do so intentionally. She recognized that in order for her to commit to a man, there had to be more to him than just a “real nice face.” I concur.
|Image source: Amazon|
Last year, in one of my favorite posts on this blog, “Dating, Sex, & Looking Beyond Boaz,” I posed a question to single women: “Will we be prepared if, instead of sending us Boaz, God sends us a man who is a work in progress? If He sends us a man who needs to lean on us in order to walk in the fullness of who God called him to be, will we be ready to support the weight of the call?” Since that post, one of the many important realizations I have come to about singleness is that I myself am a work in progress. Just as much as my husband will need to lean on me in order to fulfill his purpose, I will need him to support the weight of glory on my life. Before I trust a man with that mantle, I need to be absolutely sure that he’s equipped with the grace, the strength, and the prayer life to help me carry it. We’ll need to be able to lighten each other’s load. So, as Jamie so eloquently put it, “I locked this heart with a key from the King,/ You better talk to Him if you wanna talk to me.” I don’t believe in “casual” dating because there’s nothing casual about my calling.
My purpose is to carry out God’s purpose for my life, and that purpose will be tied to who I end up doing life with. I can’t afford to compromise, no matter how real the struggle is (and I won’t lie, it is REALLY real!). Y’all pray my strength in the Lord, because while the weight of glory is heavy, so is the weight of waiting. This walk is not for the weak of spirit, and it is DEFINITELY not for the weak of flesh, but the reward will be so worth it. I hope you all will be encouraged by this post, but I need this word, too. Wait it out!