Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Somebody's Somebody: A Word on Worth

Somebody's Somebody

Nowadays, it seems like everybody has a somebody except for me. Everyone around me is getting engaged, married, settling down...settling. They seem happy, but I can't be sure. Are they settling down because they're in love, or because they want to be somebody's somebody? Sometimes, I wonder where my somebody is, but I refuse to settle.

I live by the motto, "Attract what you expect, reflect what you desire, become what you respect, mirror what you admire." I desire to be like the One who is higher. I strive to be a direct reflection of the Master of perfection, but I don't seek the admiration of man. The One who holds tomorrow holds me in the palm of His hand.

I'm already "somebody" before somebody finds me. I'm the somebody that God's called me to be. When you know who you are, you'll attract what you need. I'll be the kind of person I want my somebody to be while I wait for the somebody that He has for me. 

Source: Etsy

Transparency time: I wrote "Somebody's Somebody" when I was 19, a sophomore in college feeling pressured to be in a relationship because "everybody else" was in one. After I got out of my feelings, I took a step back. I considered the quality (or lack thereof) of the hookups and "situation-ships" my friends and acquaintances were in, and I asked myself an important question: Is a college relationship (or any relationship, for that matter) worth the compromise? The answer was, of course, no. All of my girl friends who were in relationships were sexually active, and most of them pursued their boyfriends. #NoShade, and to each her own, but I knew that wouldn't work for me. Society tells women that to "get a man," we have to dress a certain way, walk a certain way, talk a certain way, do certain things, etc. That's true, but the model for a relationship looks different for Christians.

If I just wanted to get a man, I could've had a few by now, but I've chosen to stay true to my core morals and values. I'm a daughter of the King. I don't just want a man, I want a Godly man, the Godly man that God has purposed to be my husband. Since I want a husband, I make every effort, even in singleness, to carry myself like a wife. Why? I recognize that in order to be adequately prepared for marriage, I have to already have a covenant with God. The covenant with Him is the blueprint for the marriage covenant. Commitment to Him proves that you're ready for the marital commitment. I carry myself as a wife in reverence to God, but it also helps me weed out counterfeits: Simply put, a husband knows a wife when he sees her.

I also strive to live virtuously because I know my worth. Sis, it's not your job to "get" a man. You're the prize. The prize doesn't present itself to the prize winner. The winner works to earn it. When you know your worth, even if you're presented with potential, you have to keep in mind that potential is just a "maybe." There were a few potentials in my college days who were "good," but not Godly. As far as I'm concerned, I can't afford to settle for "good!" If I'm holding myself to a Godly standard and I attract what I expect, then I need to raise my expectations. When my man of God finds me, I'll know, because there won't be any "maybes." Ladies (and gentlemen), we need to break the cycle of compromise. Stay the course, and stay strong. If no one has told you lately, let this post be a reminder: You are worth waiting for.

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