|Jonathan McReynolds - Make Room (2018) / Amazon|
I find space for what I treasure
I make time for what I want
I choose my priorities and
Jesus, You're my number one
First of all, we don't even really need to go any further into the song...and to be honest, the first time I heard it, I couldn't go any further. I was already crying 😭. This was eye-opening for me on SO many levels. Almost every time I listen to this song, God deals with me differently, forcing me to really reflect on what it means to make room in various areas of my life. One listen in particular led me to consider how making room (or not) affects the wait.
In my Valentine's Day post, I composed a short poem to my future husband, whoever he may be. I ended the piece with, "We'll be better together than we are apart, but for now, He's making space for you inside of my heart." As I was listening to "Make Room," it hit me: God can't--and won't--make space for a man in my heart until I've given Him ample room. This is why it's important to know and be known.
If I'm not finding space for God, I'm showing Him that I do not value Him. If I'm not making time for Him, I'm essentially telling Him, "I don't need You!" and yet, I want Him to send me a spouse? That's out of order! As I've said so many times before on this blog, relationships require hard work. I desire marriage because I know its ultimate purpose is to glorify God, but let's be honest: There will probably be days where my husband gets on every one of my nerves. And guess what? I'll still have to choose to love him. My wedding vows won't become null and void just because my husband and I go to bed mad (because inevitably, at least once, we will be angry after sunset). When I wake up the next morning, I'll have to make a conscious decision to continue to do life with him. Before God gives me the privilege of choosing to love my husband every day, I need to show myself accountable in my relationship with Him.
Why should God trust me with someone else's heart if He doesn't have enough room to move in mine? Above all else, in singleness and in marriage, He HAS to be top priority. The same way I'll have to choose my spouse every day, He wants me to choose Him every day. If I'm not letting Him move in me while I'm alone, why would He bring someone into my life who would potentially take His place? He shouldn't have to compete for the space in my heart that rightfully belongs to Him. I never want to make an idol out of marriage, and I certainly don't want to run the risk of making my husband my god. So, Lord, in the meantime:
"I will make room for You / I will prepare for two." For now, that "two" is You and I, and it will still be You and I when "I" becomes "we." I don't want to ever lose sight of that. No matter who You bring into my life, I never want You to feel that You can't live in me. More than anything, I want to know You and be known by You. I want to always choose You first, so whatever, whoever, however, whenever it is, if it's crowding the space where You should be, You can move that over! I mean it this time.