I'm a single millennial and a hopeless romantic. I look at couples like John Legend and Chrissy Teigen, Ciara and Russell Wilson, Meagan Goode and DeVon Franklin and so many others who seem to be absolutely perfect together...and then I realize how silly that sounds. No one is perfect. My generation glamorizes and glorifies relationships that are under the constant scrutiny of the Hollywood spotlight. Generally speaking, if it looks happy, if it looks fun, if it looks sexy, it's automatically labeled as #RelationshipGoals, regardless of how things actually are behind closed doors.
We don't know how many disagreements John and Chrissy got into last week, or how many nights Russell missed Ciara when they had separate events on opposite sides of the country. We only look at the highs they show us and completely disregard all the lows. We are on a never-ending quest to duplicate what looks real, not caring whether or not it actually is. We get so focused on looking for love, validation, and acceptance in all the wrong places, that sometimes, we forget to love ourselves, and more importantly, we forget to look up to the One who first loved us. As I played "All of Me" a second time, I realized something. We already have a love like the one John Legend describes: The love of Christ. I'll explain as we look at parts of the song.
What would I do without your smart
Drawing me in, and you kicking me out
You've got my head spinning,
No kidding, I can't pin you down
What's going on in that beautiful mind?
I'm on your magical mystery ride
And I'm so dizzy,
Don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright.
Okay, so God doesn't actually have a "smart mouth," but He always tells us and shows us what's best for our lives, even if it's not what we had in mind. He draws us near to Him when we allow ourselves to hear Him, but sometimes life makes us feel like He's kicking us out when we face trials and obstacles. The ebb and flow of life is God's "magical mystery ride." He is not something that can ever be pinned down or fully grasped. Isaiah 55:8-9 reads:
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord.
"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts" (NIV).
He might make us dizzy sometimes, but we have no choice but to trust that He has something beautiful in store for us.
My head's under water,
But I'm breathing fine.
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind.
We may feel like we're under water, but no matter how deeply we seem to be submerged, we are anchored in God's love, and can never be drowned by life's problems. Jeremiah 29:11 reads, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" (NIV).
The enemy may trouble the waters around you, but God's promises are your life jacket. Don't panic. God's got you. Remember His promises and breathe.
And the chorus blessed me the most:
'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges,
All your perfect imperfections.
All that God is, loves all that you are. I repeat, all that God is--all that magnificence, all that might, all that holiness, all that mercy, all that grace--loves ALL of you. Nothing you do is "breaking news" to Him. God knows you better than you could ever know yourself, because He created you. In spite of every time you've tried to curve away from Him, He still loves you. He's seen you at every breaking point, and He knows each of your sharp edges like the back of His hand because He always catches you right before you slip through your own cracks. If that's not love, I don't know what is.
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning.
'Cause I give you all of me.
And you give me all of you, oh oh...
Jesus doesn't ask us to be perfect when we come to Him. He just wants the best of us that we can give. When we consistently give him our best, He'll give us the desires of our hearts. He is Alpha and Omega, our end and our beginning, and even when the world says we lose, in Him, we're always winning.
Last but not least, the bridge:
Give me all of you.
Cards on the table, we're both showing
Risking it all, though it's hard...
There is purpose in singleness. Yes, life gets hard. Yes, life gets lonely, but trust God and know that He loves you enough to never leave you alone. You will always be imperfect, but He's using your single season to perfect you to be used as a vessel--and possibly to prepare you for the person you're supposed to be with. So, if you're single and struggling with love, don't worry about #RelationshipGoals. Instead, stop and reassess your relationship with God and make sure it is where it needs to be. Love God first. When we immerse ourselves in Him & see how he loves us unconditionally, we learn to love ourselves. As we learn the art of self-love, He'll send a perfectly imperfect person to love us as an earthly example of just how much He cares.
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